You see, children, millions and millions of years ago, in response to ecological pressures from other evolving biological elements that escaped the primordial soup; the natural selection process operating on ancient dinosaurs produced the modern bird through a well understood series of accidents and random genetic mistakes. There is certainly no need for superstition here in explaining any of this, as there is clearly no evidence of design in the modern bird. Just as we can imagine how a tornado moving through a junk yard could fashion a modern computer (complete with flat panel monitor and laser printer) it can be easily imagined how a bird, which is merely infinitely more complicated than a computer, could be similarly formed, given the dinosaur spends enough time in the tornado, so to speak. Millions and millions of years ago. . . .

The flight capability is obviously a benefit, and the wing simply evolved for the dinosaur in the same way that the legs got longer on the ancient horse over millions and millions of years: thinking microscopically, those little cells working in cooperation with each other “realized” they needed to form a mass of flesh and do something about the problem, because necessity really is the mother of invention. There need be no difficulty in imagining these dinosaurs dragging their partially formed wings on the ground for millions and millions of years, during the interim, waiting, as it were, for their inoperable hunks of flesh and bone to accidentally come into sufficient perfection to allow them to fly. It is precisely this “genetic superiority” which they enjoyed over their non-winged cousins during this time that allowed them to “survive in greater numbers” and later evolve into the modern bird – survival of the fittest. Trust me.

The natural process allowing the various (minor) aerodynamic adjustments and improvements for these newly formed random appendages to become fully functional as wings, is too obvious to require any explanation, yet the benefits are manifold (so let’s talk about that). Over millions and millions of years, as our dinosaur took to the air, he obtained greater ease in finding other flying dinosaurs with which to mate (which, fortunately, had found it convenient to experience a similar series of random mutations as they also evolved in a purely accidental but parallel fashion and genetic compatibility). We see how that millions and millions of years later, this advantage would facilitate in such areas as “competing for food and escaping enemies.” It is really very simple: science understands it perfectly. With just a little more time in the public school system, children, you will understand it perfectly, too. If your sense of imagination is developed sufficiently, science can explain everything. Trust me. Faith in your imagination will take you far. Isn’t science wonderful? Isn’t federally mandated education wonderful?

Our more brilliant scientists now recognize the superiority of modern “imaginative science,” as compared to their unenlightened and un-evolved old-school counterparts, who are obsessed with observing facts, and who lack intellect to pursue the new reality. On a higher plane, submitting to the supremacy of the state achieves for the individual the dynamic harmony of realizing true inner peace and the hope of a really cushy job prospect in Lucifer’s coming “new world order.” {Fade in now with strongly emotional music evoking patriotism appropriate to the particular global region targeted.}