The federal government is my shepherd; I shall not want. The human services division maketh me to lie down in perfect social conformity: the family planning center leadeth me into approved government goals. The Civil Liberties Union restoreth my rights to discover my true inner potential: federal guidelines leadeth me in the paths of politically correct behavior for the sake of my homosexual federal legislators. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of global enslavement, I will fear no evil: for my social worker is with me; workman’s compensation and welfare, they comfort me. Government food stamps preparest a table before me in the presence of my deductible dependents: medicaid anointest my head with acceptable risk pharmaceuticals; my entitlements runneth over. Surely my corporate pension and social security benefits shall follow me all the days of my federally mandated participation: and I will dwell in government housing for ever. World government without end, Amen.